1 800 flowers doesn’t have this.

I don’t have to figure it all out now

I am cursed with having a brain that likes to figure things out ahead of time. Perhaps it’s all of my years of processing on the therapy couch or due to the fact that I’m just prone to thinking about things a lot. Or that as a lesbian I am preprogramed to process. I have a very difficult time just going with the flow or trusting the process and letting things develop. That’s a simple train of thought but hard to put in place.

I’ve had a profile up on several dating sites and I’ve met plenty of “interesting” women throughout the years. I’ve had several first dates where it’s been mutually decided that there would be no second dates. Those dates have become part of my bad date repertoire and make for interesting conversation. I am so used to having first dates and not second dates.

I had a really fun lunch date on Monday- made doubly fun by the fact that it was a school holiday. Needless to say, there was laughing and shameless flirting. After three hours, we set up another date for Saturday- which is today! Exciting!

Debriefing with Dana involved a brutal interval workout. While swinging around these enormous battle ropes, I mentioned that I wasn’t sure how I felt. She said, do you have to figure it all out now? True. I decided to give that a try and just see what happens. It’s been incredibly freeing to just allow things to happen instead of always trying to analyze and process. I’m a mixture of a golden retriever and a 15 year old boy right now with excitement and all the coolness of a sophomore in high school I’m buzzing with excitement about date number two tonight. Hopefully a training session with Dana will help burn off some of this energy.

So here’s to not having it all figured out and trusting that I’ve got a little more game than my 10th graders.